I’ve been thinking that I would like to take this blog a slightly different direction, and I think it’ll be in a way you won’t even realize it unless you go back, and read from the first blog up to now. I don’t know some may notice it. Time will tell.
I accepted a job offer the other day. I’ll be selling used cars online so it’ll be interesting to see how deals unfold in this manner. I love selling cars, and just overall being in the car business. Don’t get me wrong there are some dealerships out there that aren’t quality at all! I try, and avoid those. Anyway this is something I think I’ll enjoy.
I want to say something here that I hope my male readers take deeply to heart. For as long as I could remember I prayed that someday God would give me a beautiful wife, that was the most amazing woman I would ever know. True story right there. Then again everything I write is true, and everything I speak is true so it would have to be a true story. I did this literally my entire life. Then you know how you meet someone, and they give you the funny feels? Well sometimes some of us act a little too soon on those feels, and all throughout my life I was one of those people!
I was what some of my friends called a serial monogamist, because I wasn’t really a one night stand or a fling kinda guy! I’ve always been one that commits, but I’ve also been the one they didn’t want to commit to! These women would always tell me how wonderful I was, and how much they loved me, but at the end of the day there was always going to be them leaving. I got so used to it that I could almost time it as to how long we would last.
This went on until almost a year ago. I had gone from one relationship with someone who couldn’t commit, and immediately (like two days later) had someone else. Anyway this person I ended up with wasn’t someone I needed in my life, and I quickly ended that very short lived situation. Then sometime in mid August I got a call from a dearly loved friend that was a Hospice Director telling me it was time to come home that dad didn’t have long. So I packed a suitcase, and drove back to Pampa, and stayed at Mom’s, and Dad’s.
I was playing around with Facebook Dating at the time, and I really wasn’t looking for a relationship. I only wanted a hookup, and that’s what I was going to get. Now I realize I look like a dick from hell by trying to hook up while my dad is dying. Go read my first blog, and you’ll get why. Anyway I let this woman on there that was….. well all I can say that would be even remotely close to justice being done is that this woman was the heavenly type of beautiful. I was kind of shocked to see her on there, but I figured “Hey! Who knows what’s up?!”. So I reached out to her.
We talked for a few days, and we really hit it off. I was really shocked that it took so very little to actually connect with someone on a level I’d yet to experience! I was talking to a beautiful, intelligent, and honestly quite sexy woman that was really enjoying talking to me. So as the few days washed through I became increasingly stressed with trying to keep my family from falling to pieces. It was a shit show, and I had just about had it.
I expressed my frustration to her, and she invited me over for peach cobbler, and ice cream. I know some of y’all are thinking that was code for sex, but it wasn’t. In fact I was too stressed to show up at her house, and try to have any semblance of a good time on any level. I felt bad for it too, and even told myself I needed to make it up to her. The next day produced even more stressors, and at that point in the evening I’d had all I was putting up with. I messaged her asking if the offer was still good.
She responded with a yes, and we began laying the groundwork for what would unknowingly at the time be our first date. Now it was much later when I made my way over there, but she also knew that was going to be the case. So I pull up to her house FINALLY after combing the neighborhood at least twice. Finally I swallowed my pride, and asked her to give me a signal. So she stepped out, and I found her of course.
What transpired that night was us watching Bohemian Rhapsody, and talking about things that had been going on in our lives. We spent very little time talking about the current circumstances surrounding my father. I was actually glad for that. We ended up spending the entire night sitting up, talking, and enjoying some adult, intellectual conversation. I didn’t stay the night that night, but came close to it.
It actually took a bit for that to happen. The next day she came over, and brought food that she had cooked so my family wouldn’t have to. I was honestly kind of floored man! I was just like “WHOA! What the hell kind of smooth play is this?! Girls don’t do that unless they want something real. Anyway I just kind of tucked it away for future reference. I knew I’d probably need it.
I wasn’t wrong because we spent that afternoon, and evening together, she’d met my family, and they her. I was truly blown out of my seat the next day when she showed up again with more food! There was still plenty from the previous day! Yet here she’s gone, and bought at $75 meal for my family. That spoke volumes to me! I mean for real who does that?! This woman knew me all of two days, and was taking care of my family as if it were her own.
I sat back watching her, and taking note. I was in awe of this woman. I knew I liked what I’d seen so far, and I was well more than interested, and it seemed she was too. That night was our first night spent together, and all I can describe that next morning as is a scene right out of a movie, but only in my head. It was in the way the sun shon on her face, and the way she seemed so peaceful in her sleep. In that moment something in me knew I’d definitely met my match.
A few weeks down the road it was time. The entire family had gathered at mom’s, and dad’s place. Dad had been in a hospital bed in the den this whole time. It was very unnerving. Meagan stayed by my side though. She knew I’d had enough of everything, and I was spread too thin. Once all was said, done, dad had been cremated, and might I add that Alana at Winegart Funeral Home did a fantastic job in handling everything! She literally handled every request the family had with the utmost respect, and honor to our family. I was blessed enough to have her husband later become one of my Masonic Brothers who conducted my imitation!
I mean she went with us to the funeral home, and everything, and the moment I came out of the den when dad took his final breath, and I read him the 23rd Psalm there she was standing there patiently waiting for me. She wrapped her arms around me, and the rest of the family pouring her love out on us. I couldn’t believe this woman! Oh my God everything I’ve ever dreamed of in a woman, and she’s right here in front of me! I knew right then that I was done for! I knew my crazy hay days were over, I knew that the single life was most definitely gone for good, and that I had finally met my one!
A few nights later we were laying in bed, and had been just talking, and hanging out. She grew quiet, and was looking at the ceiling. I knew this look all too well. It was the thousand mile stare, and people get it when they’re about to do something life changing, illegal for the first time, or they’re about to leave the person they’re with. That’s how it’s always worked for me anyway. I began preparing myself mentally for it. I knew something had to be wrong, and maybe even though it all seemed great maybe she just couldn’t stand up to the task of being with me.
I get it! I’m hard to handle, easy to love, and difficult to deal with sometimes. So I figured at this point that’s where she was. Maybe she just figured that it wasn’t for her, but either way I was certain I’d met my doom at this point, and I was ready for it. This was going to suck because I had such high hopes for us too. Oh well back to the drawing board! I rolled over, and asked what was wrong, and in typical fashion she told me it was nothing. Okay let’s stop there!
I’m not the “it’s nothing” kinda guy. I can say it all day long, but don’t you dare say it to me when I know better! I’m the master at hiding, and I can tell when someone else is, or in this case trying! I simply told her she could tell me anything, and then she started crying. I knew it…it was over..I was done for! I sat up a little, and kept at her to tell me what was wrong. Hell at this point I’m starting to wonder if I said, or did something to hurt her feelings! Finally she explained it to me. I took in a deep breath waiting for this one.
She began telling me everything. She told me how in love with me she was, and how much I meant to her. I was completely floored at this point because I wasn’t expecting that! She went on to talk about wanting a future with me, and I asked her what that looked like to her. I asked her what she wanted. She out, and told me she wanted to get married someday, and spend the rest of our lives together. I knew this was too good to be true! There was no way this insanely gorgeous woman who was so perfectly perfect was this into me! Like she truly was in love with me! How could that be? How could she love me? I’m an ugly mess was all I could think, and maybe just maybe she was mostly blind, and just got around really well! Hell I don’t know!
All I knew was if I didn’t make this woman my wife I’d be a damned fool! I wasn’t about to take the risk of losing this woman! So on September 12th 2020 we went to Amarillo, and went to the mall. I walked into Zales, and met with the sales rep there, and explained to her exactly how I saw Meagan. She took me over to a particular counter where she showed me the ring. I knew the instant I saw this ring that no other ring would do. I could’ve spent $10,000.00 on a ring that was huge, and covered in diamonds, but that wouldn’t be representative to her.
This ring had a sterling silver band, and was very petite with simple diamonds in it. I wanted to give it to her right then, and there, but I knew I couldn’t. I knew it would have to be sized, but I wanted her to see it at least first. That was going to be the big part was waiting for it to come back. I bought the insurance on it, and watched as the lady boxed it up for me. That ring stayed put up until that night. Trust me it wasn’t easy getting this ring either. I had two kids with me, and neither of them knew of my plans! However despite the fact that I kept telling them to go hang out at the store they wanted to go to they wouldn’t leave the Zales.
So in order to get this done it took me basically paying these little turkeys to buzz off for a minute so I could get this done without blowing the surprise! I was so damned nervous! All I could keep thinking was “What if she says no?! I’ll probably just crawl in a hole, and slowly die an anguishing death!”. Oh well what was done was now done, and either she was going to say yes, or I was going to die a slow agonizing death. You have no idea unless you’ve done it how hard it was keeping my mouth shut on the way home, but she already knew. She just wasn’t saying anything.
That night at my request we took to the girls to the house, and left to get out for a little bit. I took her down to Central Park in Pampa Texas, and enjoyed a quiet walk on the bridge. We walked down to the second bridge when she noticed a pull up bar. She ran over to it, and began twirling herself around it. I laughed as she spun around, and as she did I walked back to the second bridge where the tree grows, and I patiently waited for her.
She came back a minute later, and I took the opportunity to make my request known to her heart. I asked, she said yes, she cried, I cried, and we took the ring back to Zales to send off for sizing. A few days later we set the date for March 27th 2021. It was during that time I decided I wanted to become a Freemason. I expressed my interest to the local lodge, and at the new year I was voted on, and accepted. I was initiated on January 21st 2021, and honestly I think it’s more similar to a baptism, or a rite to manhood that a family might do to welcome a boy into becoming a man. It was truly a very brotherly love type of experience!
Our Worshipful Master just so happened to own a ranch with a big party barn that he is known to rent out from time to time, and so I asked if we could use it for the wedding, and reception to which he said yes, and quoted me the price. We moved into a new house during the meantime, and I was back selling cars again. I truly never thought I would because I felt there just wasn’t enough business where we live to make a living doing it, but I was wrong! Anywho we were married March 27th 2021 right on cue, and I promise you now I was a wreck that day!
We had agreed that we would spend the night before the wedding apart, and not see one another the next day, and we held true to that. I can’t say we remained abstinent during that time, but hey when you love each other that will happen! The next day no one was safe from my snappiness! My poor bride to be even suffered at my voice. Most people would think “Why would the groom be nervous like that?!”. Well for one I was afraid she might get cold feet at the last minute. Also I had a shitty hotel in Pampa Texas mishandling our entire reservation, and pretending they didn’t care how screwed up they made things. Not to mention having to direct everyone, and having people that really shouldn’t have been making certain comments towards me at the time doing just that. So yeah I was pissy.
Also trying to direct all the services that we employed, and trying to make sure I was ready in time along with all the groomsmen, and guests. Once we arrived at the ranch my nerves only got worse. Thank God my wife called my best friend Alfonso, and had him come equipped with some Peach Crowne Royal! He helped keep somewhat sane until I could be back around her. She truly keeps me grounded. She’s usually the only person who can! She probably knows me better than I know myself!
Finally everyone was in place, and it was time for the ceremony! Oh man was my heart pounding. My palms were sweating, I was sweating, I was shaking, and damn near to the point of crying. An old buddy from high school did our DJ booth, and he made me promise I wouldn’t cry because if he saw me crying he was going to cry! Then of course I have my hand of miscreant best men goofing around behind me! You can’t help but laugh, yet at the same time I waited with baited breath for those barn doors to swing open at their cue. As our song played my boy David opened the doors, and there stood the most amazing, beautiful, smart, intelligent, and ridiculously gorgeous woman I’d ever laid eyes on. This time she was dressed in all white, and smiles!
It was in that moment it took everything I had to keep from crying! I had to choke it back! I couldn’t let all these people most of which I didn’t know see me crying! God forbid I show some humanity! People might think I’m actually not as tough as I make out! Then again I don’t like showing vulnerability. Either way we had an amazing wedding, and then took off the next day for Oklahoma City for our honeymoon! We had so much fun, and it felt like I was a kid again! I loved every single minute of our time!
Here we are nearly four months later, and everyday I can’t help, but think “Damn I married my number one best friend, my soulmate, the one woman who stays by my side no matter how much of a pain in the ass I am!”. I mean if you really think about it that’s mostly what marriage is! It’s two people who love each other so much that they’ll walk through fire for each other!
To all you men out there who keep being assholes to women shame on you! Yes we will all be assholes towards one another at multiple points! Marriages, relationships none of them are perfect, and by God if you don’t disagree, argue, or get upset with us be another especially over some trivial matters then I can promise you it won’t last! Why? Because these things are actually healthy! They allow one another to see that the other is not perfect, they are human, and you’re going to see them at their worst sometimes!
No that doesn’t give you some right to knock around on your woman, or manipulate her emotions, or thoughts. It doesn’t give you the right to play stupid childish games with her, and it doesn’t give you the right to put her down, and make her cry. Yes she will cry, and so will you if there’s anything to you! You’ll both say, and probably do some things the other can’t stand, and that’s okay too! GET OVER IT!
You didn’t come into your relationship or marriage just by stumbling into so DON’T treat it that way! Nurture it, and take care of it! Put your ego down men! I promise you showing some sensitivity won’t kill you. It won’t kill you to hold her hand, show her affection, or show her off to the world! There’s nothing I love more than introducing my wife to people I know because it’s like I get to say to them “Look at this beauty I married! Man not only is she incredibly gorgeous, but she is the most loving, and tender person I know!”. It irritates her sometimes, but I’m willing to irritate her a little if it means I get to brag about her!
All in all guys treat your woman like she’s the most precious gift in your life! Yes she will irritate you, and you will her. That’s part of it! Tell her you love her, and appreciate her! Tell her what she means to you, and if you can’t say it with words then show her! In fact show her anyway! Trust me the right woman will appreciate you!
Now to my beautiful wife who is right now reading this last section. I love you so much. My heart literally beats for you! You are the first person I see every day, and the last one I see before I go to sleep. You are my world, and you have given me the most wonderful life a man could ever ask for! You’ve helped me overcome insecurities, you’ve helped me keep my sanity when I thought it would break! You’ve been the most loyal, and forgiving person I know! No ma’am our life isn’t “perfect”. We don’t have millions in the bank, and a big house or fancy cars, but what matters to me is I have you, and our kids! There’s never a moment when I don’t know you came to me by God’s own plan for us, and I can’t thank Him enough for giving you to me! Thank you for being an amazing wife, and mother to our kids, and taking care of us! I love you now, just as I loved you then, and just as I will love you when we’re old, and gray! Thank you for being the woman you are, and most of all thank you for making me the happiest man of them all! I can’t tell you enough how much I love you, and how truly wonderful you are! You put up with things I know can be hard like crazy work schedules, and when I’m having a hard time. You stick by me, and help me even if it’s just laying next to me when I don’t feel good, and holding my hand! You’re truly the woman of my dreams! I love you!
Thanks for reading this in it’s entirety if you did, and if you didn’t you missed out! Until next time take care, and God Bless!